(Views expressed on this page are Pierre's, The Saturn V's crotchety but loveable press secretary.)
The 17 things you need to do to be a good rock star.
- Hit the stage and PLAY! Fix the sound AFTER the first song, but:
- If you get the opportunity to sound check, take it!
- Dress like you are in the band. Extra points if you dress like that all the time.
- The guitar player should only change guitars if he breaks a string.
- Have some string changing music prepared.
- The bass player should never change basses.
- The drum head should have the name of the band painted on it.
- Advertise your gigs.
- The entire drum kit should fit in the backseat of an American car.
Even better if someone is sitting back there, holding parts of it on their lap.
- Face the audience. Your band mates know what you look like.
- Smile.
- Call out some humorous but cryptic remark to someone in the audience,
preferably someone well known and popular.
- Know at least one joke. Tell it.
- No more than 2 band members are allowed to wear wedding rings.
None at all is even better.
- Introduce the members of the band by name.
- Acknowledge the other bands on the bill.
- Know what you are going to do for an encore, before you come back on stage.
Well, by no means are these all the things you should think about when your band hits the stage!
I'm sure everybody has something to add.
Thanks to the following, for their added suggestions...
- From: King Richard LXVI of The King's English
Make sure the person is actually in the club BEFORE you dedicate a song to them.
- From: Wildman of The Wildman Agency
Get satin jackets with your likeness on the back, also hire a professional hairdresser so the band always looks professional.
- From: Rick K. of The 10 Foot Five
Wear long sleeves if you have hairy arms.
- From: Rick K. of The 10 Foot Five
Don't drink any liquids the day of the show so you won't sweat on stage.
- From: King Richard LXVI of The King's English
Make arrangements BEFORE you get on stage for drinks to be brought up during your set.
- From: King Richard LXVI of The King's English
Be sure to TIP the bar staff for all the free beer! Also, if you tip them at the beginning of the night, yer likely to get better service!
Also...
If you have band uniforms, it's a good idea to have them laundered between shows, if possible, ESPECIALLY if you have matching jackets with fancy embroidery on the pockets.
- From: "Teenage" Rob Douglas formerly of The Saturn V Featuring Orbit
Make sure the drummer brings a mat so his kick drum doesn't slide all around the stage forcing the bass player to look like an idiot trying to kick it back in place.
- From: Orbit of The Saturn V Featuring Orbit
No wide guitar straps. No matter how uncomfortable they are, the skinnier the better.
- From: Jon von of Les Dragueurs
Play all songs in the key of A. Why make life more complicated?
- From: Melanie
Make sure all the band members have hair... when one tries to do a combover and they are sweating profusely, it usually doesn't work. Also, white biker shorts look great on stage, just check out vince neil (mötley crüe).
- From: Orbit of The Saturn V Featuring Orbit
No matter how much faster, easier and more convenient it might be, write out your set list by hand. Don't print it out off your computer.
More from Pierre Salinger III of The Saturn V Press Office...
- Try not to make "rock faces."
- Actually, make any goofy face you want, but just NOT when you are playing a solo.
- Get your face in the lights.
- The front line should step aside occasionally and let the audience see the drummer.
- When your set is almost over, let the audience know that you only have a few songs left to do.
- Learn a few new songs for each gig.
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Have the name your band start with first letter of your last name, so that your band recordings and solo stuff can be filed together.
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Don't wear your own band's T-shirt.
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Drummers, do NOT wear a Zildjian T-shirt (even if you did get it for free).
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When your set is done, get off the stage!