| May 24, 2007 - “The Beatles are over-rated. And under-rated.” - Orbit |
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January 16, 2007 - “Do they want us to play thru dinnner?” - Orbit/wedding singer
“I don’t think that would be a very pleasant dining experience.” - Johnny |
| October 24, 2005 - “ I need another outfit. And I think it should be cape-based.” - Orbit |
| August 15, 2005 - “I have 6 organs. Do you think that's too many?” - Dr. Pat Phelan MD |
| August 1, 2005 - “ Oh, I forgot about the go go girls.” - Orbit |
| May 2, 2005 - “I can stand pomposity if it's combined with some good self loathing.” - Orbit |
| April 25, 2005 - “ Ron, I’m not sure if this will fit you or not.” - Orbit
“Well it doesn’t matter, ’cos I would never wear it!” - Ron |
| April 18, 2005 - “Are they good sexual side effects?” - Johnny Bartlett |
| March 21, 2005 - “You know you’re getting old when the bartender woman in Hard Day’s Night doesn’t look so old.” - Ron Silva |
| March 14, 2005 - “None of us know anything about taming burros.” - Orbit |
| January 17, 2005 - “Hey Orbit, thanks for buying me the plane ticket. But why did you order me a Kosher meal?” - Ron Silva |
| January 3, 2005 - “Sour, being a bass player, doesn’t know his own strength.” - Brett Stillo / The Flakes (Celebrity Guest quote) |
| December 13, 2004 - “We mispronounced the name of our hotel, the name of the street it’s on, the number of the street, and the word for “street,” but the taxi driver still got us home.” - Mrs. Orbit in Spain |
| October 18, 2004 - “I’ve been substituting coffee instead of sleep. And beer instead of personality.” - Orbit |
| May 10, 2004 - “I’ve only heard 2 of their songs but so far they all sound alike.” - Orbit |
| April 26, 2004 - “That song is hard to do. It has a lot of words. And a lot of notes.” - Ron |
| April 19, 2004 - Orbit - “Hey Ron, how’d you get home last night?” Ron - “In the cab. With you.” |
| April 5, 2004 - “You are out of the band until 5 minutes before we go on stage, and then for the next 2 weeks after we’re off.” - Orbit |
| Jan. 17, 2004 - “If we weren’t just about to go on stage, you’d be so out of the band right now...” - Orbit |
| Dec. 29, 2003 - “What you saw that group do last night... do the opposite.” - Orbit |
| Dec. 22, 2003 - “I came over to help Ron and Orbit stay up all night.” - Sour von Troutt (Check it out) |
| Dec. 15, 2003 - “Deke really set the ham on fire Saturday nite, figuratively & literally.” - Orbit (Check it out) |
| Dec. 8, 2003 - “One important thing I learned from the Saturn V is the importance of beer.” - Sour von Troutt |
| October 27, 2003 - “50 is my limit.” - Orbit |
| September 29, 2003 - “In the gorilla’s defense, I have to say that Orbit does look very rideable.” - Johnny (Check it out) |
| July 7, 2003 - “I was throwing up, but it wasn’t an eating disorder. It was a drinking disorder.” - anon. |
| June 9, 2003 - Johnny: “CVS is one of the 5 people who remembered to wear their Saturn V jacket tonight.” Orbit: “Oops.” (Check it out) |
| June 2, 2003 - “Johnny, is your Beatle wig made out of my former hair?” - Ron |
| May 5, 2003 - “CVS is a tortured artist.” - Orbit “I’m a tortured fartist.” - Ron |
| April 21, 2003 - “I wondered if I should bring you guys a box of donuts when I had my audition.” - Dr. Pat |
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April 14, 2003 - “I almost wore a too-small CBGB’s T-shirt to my Saturn V audition.” - Sour
”No, being fat was a plus!” - Orbit (Check it out) |
| April 1 2003 - “The Saturn V has become sort of a goody two shoes band with an almost all married lineup. But we still kick a**!” - Ron |
| March 17, 2003 - “It’s important not to play the twist too fast.” - Liam Watson (Celebrity Guest Quote) |
| March 10, 2003 - “No the fart wasn’t an accident — I just didn’t realize the guy’s head was so close.” - Ron |
| February 24, 2003 - Orbit: “I’m worried about my cat. All he does is sleep.” Sour: “Orbit, it’s a cat.” |
| February 17, 2003 - “The last time I weighed 206, I think I was in 8th grade.” - Orbit |
| February 12, 2003 - “I have felt that the good Maximum Of the Sink is in order to let out on its Teen Sound an other single one of the Saturn V (hopes well!).’ - Johnny * |
| January 27, 2003 - “Is this gonna be all maudlin and tearful? ’Cos I can do that.” - Ron |
| January 20, 2003 - “It’s 11:52 PM.” - Orbit “Good. That gives us time to play 8 songs before we have to play Auld Lang Syne at midnite.” - Johnny (on New Years Eve) |
| January 3, 2003 - “This is my 2nd worst hangover of 2003.” - Orbit |
| January 1, 2003 - “This is my worst hangover of 2003.” - Dr. Pat |
| December 23, 2002 - “The worst thing that I thought would happen to me in the Saturn V would be a hangover.” - Dr. Pat (commenting on how he broke his arm playing the 32 bar organ solo in Kiddie a Go Go) |
| December 16, 2002 - “Tom, your buttocks are muffling my ride cymbal.” - Ron |
| Nov. 25, 2002 - “When in doubt, play the Beatle medley.” - Ron Silva |
| November 18, 2002 - “It is so much fun being in a band with these guys.” - Orbit |
| Nov. 4, 2002 -“Someone told me that that guy had great hair, so I was expecting some early ’60s Hondells pompadour.” - Johnny |
| October 28, 2002 - “Don’t quote me on that, or I’ll be out of the band.” - Orbit |
| Oct. 21, 2002 - “Stand aside, everyone! I take large steps!” - David “Sour” Troutt |
| October 14, 2002 - “Orbit, I like you. And when Johnny Bartlett likes someone, they stay liked.” - Johnny |
| October 6, 2002 - “Kurt... got any Advil?” - Garrett Brittenham (Celebrity Guest Quote: Orangu-Tones on tour with The Saturn V) |
| September 29, 2002 - “That soundman had so much bass coming out of the monitors, only sperm whales could hear them.” - Johnny |
| September 23, 2002 - “Sour, my grandmother’s bass amp is louder than this.” - Ron |
| September 16, 2002 - “Orbit, your maracas are feeding back.” - Johnny |
| September 9, 2002- “Just because I took my shoes off, it doesn’t mean I’m a hippie.” - Ron |
| September 3, 2002 - “Fortune and Maltese rule!!!” - The Saturn V |
| August 12, 2002 - “You guys are the #1 Jack Bedient And The Chessmen Tribute Band in the business today.” - Deke Dickerson / Untamed Youth (Celebrity Guest Quote) |
| July 29, 2002 - “I was watching a Top Of The Pops with the Beatles. George Harrison was so young. And so still alive.” - Ron |
| July 15, 2002 - “I am always thinking about time machines.” - Orbit |
| July 8, 2002 - Ron: “I was driving and my power steering just stopped working.” Sour: “Did you check the fluid?” Ron: “What fluid?” Sour: “Oh boy...” |
| June 24, 2002 - “Our guys are bigger.” - Dr. Mrs. Dr. Pat Phelan |
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June 10, 2002 -
“I had to take one of my organs into the shop to get it repaired.” - Dr. Pat Phelan MD “Was it your liver?” - Johnny |
| May 27, 2002 - “I tried to explain to the guy that if he was in a band that stunk, he was going to have to expect heckling.” - David “Henry Kissinger” Troutt |
| May 20, 2002 - “My pants are made out of catnip.” - Dr. Pat Phelan MD |
| May 13, 2002 - “Ron Silva is a walking sound bite.” - Orbit |
| May 5, 2002 - “It’s going to get pretty psychedelic now. The Saturn V might want to leave the room.” - Rick Kvoriak / The 10 Foot 5 (Celebrity Guest Quote) |
| April 22, 2002 - “Orbit, we’ve already played ‘Sleepwalk’ twice tonight. We’re NOT going to play it again a third time!” - the band |
| April 8, 2002- “A slow song’s as good as a break, for us.” - Carl Rusk / The Black Diamonds (Celebrity Guest Quote) |
| March 14, 2002 - Lynn: “When I was in college, some guy came up to me and told me he was Prince’s cousin.” Ron: “Was it Kim Fowley?” |
| January 7, 2002 - “You’re out of the band.” - Orbit |
| December 3, 2001 - “I had a Polish Danish for breakfast.” - Dr Pat Phelan MD |
| November 19, 2001 - “This next song is dedicated to the Beatles. And the Kaisers. And Beatle Bob. And Kaiser Bob... if there is one.” - Johnny Bartlett |
| November 5, 2001- “My goal this weekend is to get my picture taken with Little Steven.” - Dr Pat Phelan MD |
| October 15, 2001 - “Honey, hold my beer while I take off my wedding ring.” - Orbit |
| October 8, 2001- ” Where is my more money and my more fame?” - Chubby Checker |
| September 17,2001 - ”How do you catch a flesh eating bacteria?” - Orbit |
| July 12, 2001- “I knew we were in trouble when I got a phone call from England, asking me if I was aware that CVS was selling his organ on Ebay.” - Orbit |
| January 8, 2001 - “Those are 2 of my favorite words in the English language... ‘Pan Fried’. ” - Orbit |
| November 6, 2000 - “CVS is the only guy I know who puts overdubs on his answering machine messages.” - Orbit |
| July 31, 2000 - “Elvis Presley was the Freddy Fortune of his time.” - Orbit |
| July 17, 2000 - “You guys are totally blocking my view of the Bettys!” - Ron Silva |
| June 26, 2000 - “TOM WARD???!!!!” - CVS |
| June 19, 2000 - “I have never seen you before in my life.” - Orbit |
| June 12, 2000 - “The only person who looks good in a beard is Santa Claus.” - Pier re S alinger III |
| May 15, 2000 - Orbit: “Ron, an e-mail came for you. Do you want me to print it out for you?” Ron: “Is there anything in there of an urgent sexual nature?” |
| May 1, 2000 - “We used to know these songs.” - Johnny Bartlett |
| April 17, 2000 - “I haven’t had my 15 minutes yet.” - Orbit |
| April 3, 2000 - “CVS is still the number one reason for divorce in America.” - U.S. Bureau of Statistics |
| March 27, 2000 - “Is there a place I can go to weigh my head?” - Orbit |
February 14, 2000 -
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| February 7, 2000 - “Pitchers and catchers report!” - Orbit |
| January 31, 2000 - “We should just do our new songs. We kick WAY more a** now!” - Ron |
| January 17, 2000 - Johnny: “Ron, you’re the king of the Mods. Did you ever have a scooter?” Ron: “No. I did borrow a guy’s parka once. But it was raining.” |
| January 3, 2000 - “It’s amazing how convenient it is that you make the same preparations for 2 totally different events. I mean, if the world is gonna end, or you are just celebrating New Years Eve, you still gotta buy beer.” - Pi erre S alinger III |
| December 20, 1999 - “I was just wondering... How much do you think my head weighs?” - Orbit |
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December 13, 1999 -
“No Rockabilly guy was ever named Derek.” - Johnny
“Except about half the guys in Herman’s Hermits.” - Ron Silva |
| December 6, 1999 - “I remember EXACTLY the last time the ’Vees played in Vegas... it was September 9th, 1977.” - Ron Silva |
| November 29, 1999 - ”Well, I won’t do it again... or if I do, I won’t tell anybody.” - Ron Silva |
| October 25, 1999 - “Hey Teenage, if you grow your hair long, then the long-hairs will outnumber the short-hairs in this group.” - Ron Silva |
| October 4, 1999 - “I have good luck with girls, they just have bad luck with me.” - Ron Silva |
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September 27, 1999 - “I’m the chick-getter in this group!” - Orbit
“Orbit, you’re married! You just bring ’em in and I’ll take it from there.” - CVS |
| August 30, 1999 - “Have you heard the Trashmen’s folk stuff?! They run circles around that Bob Dylan guy.” - Johnny Bartlett |
| August 8, 1999 - “Orbit, you know we’re playing in Las Vegas with the Trashmen and the Wailers. There goes half our set!” - CVS |
| August 1, 1999 - “There’s a much more direct route, but this is a nice drive.” - Tom Ward (giving directions at 11:30 PM) |
| July 19, 1999 - “I was on the bus today and the bus driver called me ‘Ringo’.” - Ron Silva |
| July 12, 1999 - “No, I mean it. Do you guys EVER get those jackets cleaned?” - “Teenage” Rob |
| July 5, 1999 - “Whenever I see a record with “Ape” or “Monkey” or “Gorilla” in the title, I just get out my wallet.” - Orbit |
| June 21, 1999 - “Before anything else, I gotta ask you ONE THING... Can I get a ride to Alameda...?” - Ron Silva |
| May 3, 1999 - “You cannot not twist to this next song!” - Johnny Bartlett |
| April 26, 1999 - “Do you guys ever get those jackets cleaned?” - ”Teenage” Rob |
| April 19, 1999 - “The word ‘Genius’ shouldn’t be used in music. A Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein” - Ron Silva |
| April 12, 1999 - “I WILL NOT say ‘Supersize It.’ I just get 2.” - Orbit |
| March 29, 1999 - “What are Chicken Slacks?” - Ron Silva |
| March 15, 1999 - “No way the Yankees will win 110 games this year, and you can quote me on that.” - Orbit’s pre-season prediction |
| March 8, 1999 - “She didn’t sound ’60s on the phone.” - Ron Silva |
| February 16, 1999 - “I like this guy already!” - Orbit, upon meeting his new bass player, holding his bass and a beer. |
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February 1, 1999 -
“Hey Orbit, I found out the Beatles’ tailor is still in business!”
- Johnny Bartlett
“Give me his number. I’m gonna call him up and get him to make me some great big Beatle clothes.” - Orbit |
| December 28, 1998 - “Why play ONE fake Beatles song when you can play TWO fake Beatles songs?!!!” - Ron Silva, onstage at the Wild Weekend |
| December 15, 1998 - “I came 5000 miles to drink a Budweiser and talk to a girl from Indiana!... I LOVE IT!” - Ron Silva in London |
| November 18, 1998 - “Most bands on tour fight over who’s going to get the ’ludes... The Saturn V fight over who’s next to use the travel iron.” - Mrs O., during the ’Vees English tour |
| November 13, 1998 - “George Harrison may have met the Maharishi... but he’s no Tom Ward.” - Mrs O., during the ’Vees English tour |
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September 28, 1998 -
“It’s between the blonde and the brunette.” - Russell Quan, judging the Twist Contest.
“It always is.” - CVS |
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September 21, 1998 -
“What about slow songs?” - coordinator of S.I. High School dance “We don’t know any.” - Orbit |
| September 14, 1998- “Bring us a pitcher of beer every 7 minutes until someone passes out. Then bring one every 4.” - Orbit, during pre-show preparation at the Purple Onion |
| September 7, 1998 - “Orbit, we’re never gonna sound like the record. You gotta get that outta your head.” - CVS |
| August 31, 1998 - “Well SOMEONE is too loud... It’s like the disarmamant of the U.S. and the Soviet Union; we’re all gonna have to agree to unilaterally turn down.” - Tom Ward |
| August 18, 1998 - “Why does Fred Flintstone keep ordering the ribs when he knows the car is going to tip over?!” - Johnny Bartlett |
| August 10, 1998 - “I am a well-educated man. I am a speaker of four different languages, a reader of Greek tragedy, and a student of American history. I am a lover of women, I am a leader of men, and I am a surprisingly good dancer for a big man.” - Orbit |
| July 27, 1998 - “That last song was called Be Bop a Lula Twist; from the album, Blue Jean Bop Twist.” - Johnny Bartlett |
| July 20, 1998 - “De-programmers want to program me.” - Tom Ward |
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July 13,1998-
“Hey, I loved that Tommy James song you guys did!” - anonymous fan “Which one?” - Orbit “Huh?!” - fan |
| June 29, 1998 - “I love that song!” - Ron Silva after every song |
| June 22,1998- ”I forgot the set list! What are some of our songs that we do?!!” - Orbit |
| June 15, 1998 - “No we’re not like the Beatles, ’cos the Beatles didn’t ever not know what song to to play next...” - CVS |
| June 8, 1998 - “I’ve got more testosterone than Chad & Jeremy put together.” - Ron Silva |
| May 24, 1998 - “Bad bands REALLY sound bad at the Purple Onion.” - Erika |
| April 27, 1998 - “Somebody start playing a song, I beg of you.” - Orbit |
| April 5,1998 - “Fortune and the Maltese are the greatest!” - Mojo Mills (Celebrity Guest quote) |
| March 23, 1998 - “I don’t overreact, I just react more violently than most people.” - Orbit |
| February 16,1998 - “Haven’t you ever kicked a man while he’s down? You missed a lot in life!” - CVS |
| February 2,1998 - “Are you an idiot? Are you a plebeian? What’s wrong with your encephalon? I’M TALKING ABOUT YOUR ENCEPHALON!!! I believe you have Ischemia of the hypothalamus, young man.” - Orbit to Frank Kozik |
| January 26, 1998 - “The pillow had a head-lock on me.” - Orbit |
| January 12, 1998 - “So I was in this place last night, and a guy comes in and says ’HAPPY NEW YEAR!’ And I said ’Buddy, it’s not New Years, it’s like January 11th or something.’ And he says, ‘................................!’ ”- Johnny Bartlett |
| January 5, 1998 - “So I was in this place last night, and a guy comes in and says ’HAPPY NEW YEAR!’ And I said ’Buddy, it’s not New Years, it’s January 2nd.’ And he says, ‘................................!’ ” - Johnny Bartlett |
| December 29, 1997 - “Orbit! You’re famous!!!” - Bruce Brand (Celebrity Guest quote) |
| November 10, 1997 - “Orbit, we have nothing like you here in England.” - Anja from The Diaboliks (Celebrity Guest quote) |
| September 30, 1997 - ”It’s not that I’m a genius, it’s just that everybody else seems dumber.” - Tom Ward |
| September 25, 1997 - “Uncle Johnny, you play that guitar like a chicken with a hundred dollars.” - Johnny Bartlett’s nephew |
| Sept. 14, 1997 - “You mean we only made $8 on that gig!? Well, that’s cool.” - Ron Silva |
| September 7, 1997 - “So, I removed my pants, cause you know, in time of crisis, take off your pants.” - Chris von Sneidern |
| August 31, 1997 - “I hate these quotations.” - Orbit |
| August 24, 1997 - “I think the future is a good idea.” - Orbit |
| August 17, 1997 - “I could have been Pope.” - Tom Ward |
| August 10, 1997 - “What’s wrong with sex scandals?” - CVS, MS (Master of Sociology) |
| August 3, 1997 - “Frank Perdue retired? I didn’t know that!!!” - ”Chicken” Johnny Bartlett |
| July 27, 1997 - “Sure, they’re retro but they sound like they’re having a good time, with their sights on making the audience dance, not one eye on credibility, the other on their record collections. Frat rock ’97.” - Mike Noon reviewing the ’Vees in Furball e-zine. |
| July 20, 1997 - A handy link to Johnny Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. |
| July 13, 1997 - “It’s like Deja Vu all over again.” - Ron Silva |
| July 6, 1997 - “She was an old fashioned girl, but in a new fashioned body.” - CVS |
| June 29, 1997 - “I don’t mind if all their songs sound the same; as long as they sound like they’re before 1967.” - Ron Silva |
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